Doing Things "With" Creates More Than Doing Things "For" Newsletter - Week 10
Welcome back to our weekly newsletter! This week we're diving into the psychology of collaboration and how doing things together—rather than for each other—fundamentally transforms your relationship.
This Week's Tale for Two
Doing Things "With" Creates More Than Doing Things "For"
Psychologists have found that when couples collaborate on playful activities, the dynamic shifts from "I support you" to "we're in this together." That sense of shared experience, doing something with rather than just for, can strengthen empathy, improve communication, and create lasting intimacy.
— Reis et al., 2000 – "Interpersonal Processes in Relationships"
The research reveals something profound about human connection. When you do something for your partner, there's kindness and care. But when you do something with your partner—when you're both vulnerable, both figuring it out, both laughing at the same mistakes—something deeper happens. You're sharing the experience, not just the outcome. You're building a shared history together.
Your Next Date Idea
Before heading out, secretly write down a challenge for your partner to complete during the day (e.g., "compliment a stranger," "find the most oddly shaped fruit," "speak in pirate for 5 minutes"). Then reveal them as you go. Challenge each other to embrace the ridiculous!
This collaborative challenge combines multiple relationship-boosting elements:
- Shared humor - ridiculous challenges create laughter
- Vulnerability - you're both doing silly things together
- Creativity - designing challenges shows you know each other
- Collaboration - you're cheering each other on, not competing
- Novelty - it's unexpected and keeps things fresh
Pro tip: The best challenges are the ones that make you both laugh at how ridiculous you're willing to be for each other!
Personal Note
Two amazing collaborators on Instagram tried Tales for Two and shared their experiences with their communities. Seeing the game come to life in new hands is such a surreal joy! Thanks to @ikneeemjeeeoupdate and @playboardgameswithus for bringing Tales for Two to life in new hands. It reminds us why we made this in the first place: to help couples have fun, together.
Card of the Week
This week's featured card is "Golden Hour Glass" – a card about finding a special place to enjoy a drink during golden hour. It's the perfect embodiment of doing something with your partner rather than for them: creating a shared moment of peace and connection.
Snapshot of the Week
Tag us on Instagram @talesfortwogame or send us an email with your challenge photos to get featured in next week's newsletter! We love seeing couples embrace their ridiculous sides together.
Join the Adventure
If you're not already on our mailing list, to get these weekly doses of inspiration, science-backed relationship tips, and date ideas delivered straight to your inbox.
Until next week, keep doing things with each other!
With love and collaboration,
— The Tales for Two Team
P.S. What's the silliest challenge you'd give your partner? We'd love to hear! Drop us a line at business@talesfortwo.com.
